Sunday, March 11, 2012

Meeting people online

This is really hard to admit, but I have resorted to my laptop to try to meet people.  First of all, I don't really know if I want to - I mean, I do, but I don't.  I have some family here, work friends, wonderful neighbors and a few other friends.  So am I lacking anything?  Not really, but - - - -

We all need some closeness with someone.  Someone who will listen to you rant and rave about your boss for the 100th time, or someone with whom you can just be totally yourself, wrinkles (I am not totally hung up on wrinkles, I swear), age spots and all.  Who would do that except someone who loves you? 

So, I went online and posted a lame picture - seriously lame - and wrote a few lines pretty much saying how I was happy now, but would like friendship and perhaps companionship.  Like totally passive-aggressive.  Like, I dare anyone to think I was desperate - I mean, I'm not, right?  Oh crap. 

Well, anyway, I had a few responses.  One from someone who posed naked, I guess.  It's a head shot, but obviously not wearing a shirt, so you would assume the rest, right?  Seriously.  Then one from someone who, after I stupidly gave out my personal e-mail address, was either dropped or dropped out of the online service.  I'm thinking, OMG, I'm going to be killed! 

Well, we have been communicating a bit.  Not bad, he seems nice, but - and this is a big but - he doesn't seem to be available to chat via messenger (his idea) any evenings (when I am available) nor week-ends (also when I am available).  Red flags, right?  So, I really do not know what to think.  Says he is a widow, moved to the States from Italy, etc.  I hate being lied to and try to assume the best of everyone, but I'm thinking that makes me uber-gullible. 

So I did some research and found some wonderful pieces about how to do this stuff.  Some sites suggest that - and I quote - if you have that 20 pounds to lose, do it before you go looking!  What's with that?  Yea, I know I have 40, and am working on it, but I am working on it for myself (more about my vegan journey later) and no one else.  Why do we have to have the socially acceptable body to be found interesting and attractive?  Perhaps the old high-school jocks will pass you up, but who cares?  I mean, are we all to be judged by only our appearance?  If it is still that much of a jungle out there, then I'm not really sure it is worth it.


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